in my feelings..

It was a long drought after my messy break up with Luis and I’ve decided not to include my stories with him.  Reminiscing about that part of my life has been a little painful.  When I moved out of the city, I thought that moving in the middle of nowhere would be good for me, a time to clear my mind and be away from everyone but part of me definitely thought I was making a big mistake.  The night that I moved in, my slutty-self tindered my night away.  Swipe here, swipe there…and I matched with Luis.  It was very unexpected, we got along right away..we started seeing each other before the holidays then more often in the new year.  I was also in transition with a new job so my time was so limited.  He lived three towns over me so his drive was not that bad.  I think that he was the only guy that saw me without my make-up on, I was very bare and stripped down with him.  We scheduled our time together, seeing each other at least once a week, him sleeping over, cooking for me, fixing my things in my place.  I told him things I would never tell a guy, so typical.  I was fucking vulnerable with this man.  I even claimed him on my social media accounts, and I never post anything with my current beau.  Tears can easily run down my cheeks whenever I think of him or hear his name.  Things ended before his birthday while he was in Europe, before he left we had “the talk”.  We would text, call, and facetime while he was on vacation..I felt this odd feeling one weekend.  I asked him if he slept with someone, and with no hesitation he confirmed.  I won’t get into details about the aftermath, it was a long hurtful and confusing time.  At present time, we talk here and there, he reaches out to me randomly.  I chose not to see him after that and us talking without any sexual intention is better left as that.




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